With a little spare time between working on PokerWire Radio, PokerWired, and random videos (pssst, look out for a new episode of Whose Car Did We Steal), I decided to address an important topic that effects not only myself, but many of you as well.  I am, of course, speaking about fantasy poker.

If any of you remember my original fantasy poker blog, I predicted not only to do well, but to dominate the PokerWire league.  Lucky for me that ill-advised piece of writing mysteriously disappeared from our website (I promise I did not wire transfer funds to one of PW's IT guys).  Either way, right now I'm like that boxer who talks a mile of trash at the weigh-in, and then gets knocked out four seconds into the first round.

In other words, it's time for me to shut up, pick myself up off the canvas, and get ready for the rematch.

Not only am I ranked somewhere in the 4,000's on Full Tilt (behind such names as blindguy1906 and TheMiracleWhipCommando), but I can't even post a decent showing among the PokerWire/PW Radio crew.

Here's how we rank currently in our league:

1. Really Good Producer Jeremy (37th Place) - An absolute shocker.  The guy knows less about poker than a Mormon kindergarten class.

2. Gavin Smith (59th Place) - Gavin ranks as one of the world's most DL geniuses.  He's the intellectual equivalent of Keyser Soze pretending to be Verbal Kint.  I expected him to be my toughest competition, I just didn't think he'd be PWNING me.

3. Jeremiah "Lead Tournament Reporter/Hellmuth Jr." Smith (101st Place) - Also not a huge surprise.  An incredibly knowledgeable poker fan, he's basically our "Schwam."

4. JDN aka "Bossman" (166th Place) - [Insert Nervous Laughter]...what can I say, he's my boss.

5. LA Mike (218th Place) - In between stealing poker players' cars, he's made some pretty decent tournament-specific picks.   LA Mike also happens to be my favorite non-pro.

6. Me (242nd Place) - Yes, I know I'm stuck in the basement with two of the biggest yee-haw's in poker talk radio.  I'm not worried.  I'm a perennial slow starter; I've mastered the bounce-back.   It's all about making adjustments.  Take my most recent run in fantasy football.  I started 1-6, pulled off some crucial trades (thank you unnamed friend who gave me Frank Gore for Daunte Culpepper and his Paper-Mache knee) and reached the league championship.  That's the great thing about WSOP fantasy poker; you draft a whole new team with each event.  Endless adjustments!  Screw what I said about regretting my previous blog, domination is around the corner (I can't possibly stink it up again...can I).

7. Joe Sebok (246th Place) - Vowed to not change his team at all during the WSOP.  He might want to rethink that decision.

8. Joe "The Original King of Hairy Italian Comedy" Stapleton (308th Place) - An absolute mess.  In our March Madness bracket challenge he picked Tennessee to beat Memphis in the national championship because, "there's no way a city could beat an entire state."  I'm pretty sure his fantasy poker A-team includes Bob Stupak, Lennox Lewis and a "dancer" he met at Sapphire.

But enough about me and my degenerate friends, without further ado let's take a look at the top five fantasy studs and duds through the first two and a half weeks of the 2007 World Series of Poker.

Top Five Studs

1. Phil Hellmuth Jr. - "A machine," "the greatest no-limit hold'em tournament player of all time," call him whatever you want, Hellmuth has already won a record-breaking 11th WSOP bracelet.  And, as I write this, the "Poker Brat" has just finished 6th in Event #28 ($3,000 NLH), so add another $76,464 to his impressive '07 WSOP cashes ($641,155).

2. Burt Boutin - Man, do I love Burt Boutin, and I'd love the guy even more if I put him on my fantasy team every once in awhile.  Not only is the Burt one Red Bull away from launching into outer space, but he currently sits atop the '07 WSOP money-winner's leader board ($836,675).  That, combined with three cashes already, makes B.B. a fantasy monster.

3. Steve Billirakis - The "youngest bracelet winner in WSOP history" also happens to be one of the most consistent players at this year's Series.  At twenty-one years and ten days, Billirakis kicked things off by winning the first event in '07 ($5,000 Mixed Hold'em).  He's since gone on to cash twice more, and is in the top ten on the money winner's leader board.

4. Michael Binger - I'm not sure if they're combining Michael's stats with his brother Nick's, but the 2006 main event third-place finisher has already reached the money five times in 2007.   That's a pretty decent year for some players.  Which is exactly why I think Michael and Nick are pooling their results.  Not fair, but still good for over $350,000 in winnings.

5. Humberto Brenes - DE CHAARK HAAS TREE CASHES!  DE CHAARK HAAS  MADE TREE FINAL TABLES!  DE CHAAARK EZ DOMINATING!  (Translation: Humberto Brenes has three cashes, all of them final table appearances.)

Top Five Duds

1. Michael "The Grinder" Mizrachi - One of the most dominant tournament players on the planet...except at the World Series.  Grinder is following up an abysmal 2006 WSOP by failing to cash in an event so far.  My advice if you want to keep The Grinder on your fantasy team - trick him into thinking he's playing a World Poker Tour event.

2. Jared "TheWacoKidd" Hamby - Arguably you couldn't find a hotter player coming into the Series than Hamby.  Since then...not so much.  Zero cashes, which is disappointing for a guy who was crushing WPT prelims and finished second at last month's Mandalay Bay Poker Championship.

3. Men "The Master" Nguyen - "The Master" once held the record for most WSOP-in-the-money-finishes.  He was passed by Hellmuth in 2006, and will continue to fall further behind if his results don't improve soon.  Somebody needs to bring back, "Nice hand, sir"...fast!

4. Patrik Antonius - Nobody doubts this guy's skills in both tournaments and cash games, but where has he been during this WSOP?

5. Jamie Gold - J-Go lasted cashed at the World Series on 8/10/06, when he won the main event.  Nuff said.

There you go my students.  Take that knowledge, apply it to your fantasy poker league, and prosper...just don't prosper more than me.