So I made it down during the dinner break. But since I was so tired from laying around watching tv and eating room service, I wasn’t much feeling like taking notes.  Besides, I left my notebook in my room, and it’s a wicked long walk back there from the Amazon Room.  So, I didn’t really take many notes.  I mean, I did, but they’re all on a series of crumpled up cocktail napkins sitting in front of me that I may or may not have blown my nose in.

What am I trying to say here?  I’m trying to say I’m not good at writing “articles.”   I’m trying to say that I told my boss I was shirking off my responsibilities preparing for the radio show because I was “researching a rebuy article” when really all I was doing was sweating a couple of pros in the event who I was hoping were going to give me a tip.  Since I just admitted that my reasons for sweating the tournament were a total lie, I’m sure my boss won’t mind the fact that I’m also not actually going to write an article.  Instead, without further ado, I present to you – What I Learned During the $1,000 Rebuy Event:

• First of all, people who bubble don’t give tips.
• Joe Sebok is forced to pay dearly for even the slightest mistakes.  I am sure Barry Greenstein is behind this. 
• Bubble play doesn’t really matter in a rebuy event.  They didn’t even have a chance to announce hand for hand.  I guess when you’re into a tournament for 7k, you don’t really care if you cash for 5.
• I wish when I were 15 I had the phone number for Dario Mineri’s fake ID guy.
• Kristy Gazes continues to be the last remaining female in massive fields, which I find to be cool.  I also find it to be cool that she wears a PokerWire patch regardless of the fact that it is not made by Dolce and Gabana.
• Internet players don’t really know how to deal with only playing one (slow) tournament at a time, so sometimes they have a little too much fun playing with their chips.  I guess it’s only fair considering when I play on the internet I’m having fun playing with my ***t too.
• Mike Gracz is 3 for 3 in WSOP rebuy tournament cashes.  He’s 3 for 3 for finishing in the top 30.  He’s 2 for 3 for final tables.  He is also 1 for 1 in recognizing Ghostbuster references I used to congratulate him.
• If you have an ace in your hand, you are an 88% favorite to win against any two other cards.  I know this math seems off, but this is what I learned in the rebuy event.  Seriously.  I’ve never seen more single aces hold up since the last time I played “War.”
• I can’t believe no one remembers Amir Vahedi from Summer Slam ’94 when he and The Iron Sheik really did a number on The Hulkamaniac.  I think he’s got it out for any “-aniacs.”  Watch out for the Camel Clutch, Schleger!
• Vinny Vinh finished 20th, outlasted 61 people, and moved up six levels in prize money by not showing up at all today.  I am officially changing my style of play to “tight, auto-fold.”
• Some people say that internet play is so frenetic because there aren’t any actual chips, only numbers on a screen, so it’s difficult to rationalize how many chips are really being wagered.  Anyone who saw the massive number of chips acquired and then later dumped by internet players today knows we’re currently in the market for a new theory.
• This year’s rebuy tournament was sort of like skinny dipping.  Guys like Layne Flack and Cory Carroll were all like “Come on guys!  We’re going skinny dipping!  Let’s go!”  Then they both stripped their clothes off.  “Daniel!  Grinder!  Come on guys!  You love skinny dipping!”  Then they headed for the water naked as the day they were born. Grinder and Negreanu just chilled on the shore. “Nah.  We’re all good on skinny dipping this year.”