The World Series of Poker final table is about to begin. The nine men who make-up what is sure to be one the most storied final tables in World Series history are exactly who you would expect to emerge from a field of over 6,000 players that boasted all of the most skilled poker professionals on planet earth, and a private jet load of A-list Hollywood celebs. That’s right. The final table is as follows:
Seat 1 - Montel Williams
Seat 2 - Chris “Jesus” Ferguson
Seat 3 - Doyle “Texas Dolly” Brunson
Seat 4 - Jose Canseco and Nelly (playing as a tag team)
Seat 5 - Tobey Maguire
Seat 6 - Randy Moss
Seat 7 - Amarillo Slim Preston
Seat 8 - Walt Disney
Seat 9 - Sam Grizzle
Sparks will fly when this list of Hollywood - Oh, wait this just in - The final table is actually just 8 random guys and Lee Watkinson. My B.
I was hoping to handicap this final table for you. I was going to predict, with remarkable accuracy, things like, “Walt Disney will be eliminated in 8th place after getting cold decked,” But now I’m stuck just trying to figure out who in the H these dudes are. Lucky for me, I was born in the information age, and with Google as my guide I managed to find out everything you need to know about the 2007 WSOP final nine, and from that I was able to come up with some predictions. Enjoy.
Jon Kalmar
We may have lost Montel “Chilliams” Willaims, Sully Urna, and Tobey Maguire, but that hasn’t stopped the celebrity set from dropping one of their own into seat 1 of the 2007 Main event final table.
John Kalmar is a feature film star who has left an indelible mark on the Scandinavian silver screen with such hits as “One Hell of a Christmas” and “En Som Hodder”. He made his film debut in 1988 with the much lauded, “Jydekompagniet,” a film about a private investigator, in which Kalmar plays an undredited role.
He’s credited as “Bully” in One Hell of a Christmas - Will he be a bully today?
Yes. Donald Key predicts it will be “One Hell of a Final Table” for everyone but Kalmar, as he bullies his way to WSOP gold. 1st place!
Lee Childs
Lee Child is the author of over 10 novels. The best-selling British novelist has won the Anthony Award and Barry award, and has been nominated for a Dilys and Macavity. Will he add the title of World Series Champion to his already impressive resume?
Oh wait? Sorry, it’s lee child-s. With an S? Never heard of this guy. He’ll probably bust out in 9th.
Phillip Hilm
Apparently all this guy does is play poker. Maybe that explains why he’s at the final table. He also has the chip lead. So naturally:
Prediction: This guy blows the lead faster than a P.A. on one of the “Oceans” movies. 6th.
Jerry Yang
Jerry Yang is of course none-other than the new C.E.O. of Yahoo. With the pressure of this new position weighing heavily on Jerry’s mind, will he be able to push for the gold? The question on everyone’s mind if he makes a blunder early will most certainly be, “Do you Yahoo?”
Prediction: 8th place.
Raymond Rahme
Raymond Rahme. Rahme first made headlines in the famous court case Raymond vs. Rahme. That’s right. Rahme became the first man ever to sue HIMSELF when he brought his case before the Texas appellate court in 2002.
Prediction: Obviously a total nut, and possibly schizo, this wild card is likely to throw caution to the wind. He’s not going to play to move up a money spot, he’s here to win. However, as we’ve already mentioned, he’s in for “One Hell of Final Table” and will be stopped short by Kalmar and land in 2nd place.
Tuan Lam
Not much to say other than: Buy Tuan’s beautiful artwork here:
Prediction: 7th place.
Alex Kravchenko
Alright. Here we go. Alex Kravchenko, a bracelet winner after taking down event #9 at this years WSOP. You figure he’s one of the favorites to come away with the bracelet, that is, if he can ever put down this plate of Borscht.
Prediction: Look at that borscht! There is no way he is putting that down. 5th place.
Lee Watkinson
World Series of Poker bracelet winner Lee Watkinson takes his shot at going from Lee Watkinson to Lee Watkinson. You see the difference there. Right now it’s like, Lee Watkinson, but soon, if he wins, it’s gonna be like, Lee Watkinson. Got it?
Prediction: Watkinson gets 4th and remains Lee Watkinson.
Hevad “Rain” Khan
Everyone’s going to be making “Wrath of Khan” and “Genghis Khan” references. We’re not going to do that here. We’re just going to quietly point out that when Khan celebrates he looks like Gerard Butler from 300:
and then in equally hushed tones we’re going to ask the poker gods for purple rain Khan at the final table.
Prediction: Tonight - we dine - in THIRD!.....place.
Real chip counts in case you care and were expecting real poker news:
Seat 1: Jon Kalmar – 20,320,000
Seat 2: Lee Childs – 13,240,000
Seat 3: Philip Hilm – 22,070,000
Seat 4: Jerry Yang – 8,450,000
Seat 5: Raymond Rahme – 16,320,000
Seat 6: Tuan Lam – 21,315,000
Seat 7: Alex Kravchenko – 6,570,000
Seat 8: Lee Watkinson – 9,925,000
Seat 9: Hevad Khan – 9,205,000
hit on the flop. So sick! The board bricked out for Yang, and now the playing field is officially leveled.
There's no truer cliche in all of poker than "all it takes is one mistake." That's the case for Ray Henson who, up until the last hand had played some incredible poker. Interestingly enough, it was against Scotty Nguyen (who has fought back from being the shortest stack in the event to the biggest).
